This is a story I wrote for Creative Comm. I was insipred by last week's episode of 'Lost' when Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) was in the confession room to ...er... confess (Ah-ber then!). *laugh* Enjoy the story! By the way, GOOD CHARLOTTE'S CONCERT TOATLLY ROCK!!!! I will give a full-blown account on it once I get the pictures from Jiayi. Too bad we could not take any of GC!!!! So sad....

Anyway, the story I wrote is based on the theme 'Seize the Day'. Stupid theme.... and try to see if you can see that theme in my story. If you don't, never mind. I was thinking that the main character seized the day by taking the opportunity to repent and do good....I know it's lame but who cares! Oh, yes, sit back and try to enjoy this little piece of work.....
Done by Kan Xin Hua Devon,

Samuel

“I’m sorry, Father, for I have sinned.”

“Speak, child.”

I opened my mouth but no words came out. Here I am, sitting in the confession room and I’m not even a religious person. What am I doing here then? Am I going to tell the priest, some old guy who I used to terrorize, my every sin? Every single bad thing I had done throughout my life?

“Is there something you want to tell me, Samuel?”

His soothing voice broke my jarring thoughts. I cleared my throat nervously. The fact that I’m enclosed in a small coffin-like room was making me uneasy. “Look, Father, I know I don’t pray much and I never go to church on Sundays. Hell, sometimes –”

A faint cough erupted from the other side of the wall. I blushed.

“I mean, I don’t think I believe in Him, in God!” My sudden outburst echoed in my ears. The soft light entering the little holes created a strange atmosphere. I could have sworn I heard angels singing, either that, or I’m right in the middle of a horror scene.

A pause replied me and I waited. Was Pastor Clement disgusted by what I had said? The quietness was starting to annoy me. I can even hear my own breathing; it came in hard and heavy.

“Is that why you’re here?”

He got me tongue-tied. “No, no, I’m here to confess all my sins. I…I… need to be cleansed…of everything I’ve done to everyone else.” A huge lump of guilt amassed deep within me. I stared at my black fingernails and tattooed arms. “I’ve sinned…Father…and I need to ask for forgiveness.”

“Let me ask you a simple question, my child. If you proclaim that God doesn’t exist, why are you here?”

If I weren’t in a church, I would have grabbed his collar and beat the daylights out of him. However, I was at my wit’s end, and I needed help. Any help. “I need to know that He did not abandon me….leave me, a freak behind.”

“But He did not leave you, my child, you did. You walked away from him. Did you know how He felt?”

“I know that! I’m sorry, alright?” Black tears rolled down my cheeks. I would not have cried anywhere else. I was too tough to let those tears fall yet here I am, weeping like a five-year old kid whose candy had been snatched away from him. “I will say my prayers before I go to bed, I’d never utter a curse and I will go to church on Sundays. I’m sorry for everything…”

“Sorry? Sorry for causing Mrs. Huber’s heart attack? Her dog was her only companion. Sorry for dear old Ricky when you made him trip? Sorry for bullying Angela Rimes? She cries every night, praying that you’d go away. Sorry for screaming at your Mum all day? Sorry for leading Mike astray? He was a good boy, drugs and crime was not his route. Sorry for making Lindsay pregnant? Or are you sorry because there is a child in the hospital hanging on to his dear life?”

Fear took over me. And then, surely but slowly, shock seeped into my veins. I had no idea I did so many wrong things. “Oh my God…” I muttered.

“Yes, oh my…. Tell me, Samuel, how are you feeling right now?”

I stared at the wooden wall and remained silent. What am I to say? I knew I caused Mrs. Huber’s heart attack. Her dog, Lassie was killed because I was stealing in her home. A thief and a murderer – I used the stupid lamp to hit the dog. Ricky was the janitor in school and I never failed to make fun of him. Using just one ice cube, I made him stay in bed for three whole months. Those scenes replayed in my mind and guilt replaced shock.

“Lindsay is pregnant?” I stuttered.

“Yes, and she wants to abort the baby. Samuel, you are going to make Lindsay murder her own child. Do you want that? To let her live with guilt?”

I shook my head. “I love her…oh God, I love her so much.” More tears erupted.

“She knows, my child.”

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” I cried those words like a chant. I really meant it. Somehow, deep down within me, I was praying. I was actually praying. For Mrs. Huber, Ricky, Angela Rimes, Mike, my Mum, Lindsay…most of all, the kid in the hospital.

“Your prayers will be answered. You just have to trust Him even more, my child.”

“Father, will God ever forgive me?” I asked.

Somehow, I felt a warm smile from behind the wall. “He already did long ago, my child.”

“Thank you, Father.”

“Samuel, you are a strong kid capable of good deeds. He had trusted you with a heart – use it to love the people around you. The kid will do fine but I want you to see him for me. I’ve already told him about you and he’ll be waiting.”

“I will, Father.”

Silence answered me. I lingered for a few moments and said softly, “I will not disappoint You.” Then, I felt the warm smile again.

I knew I was no longer the same person when I emerged from the confession room. The Samuel who ate drugs to get high, to shoplift for the thrill or made everyone else’s life a terror. That part of me seemed to have vanished. Instead, for the very first time in my life, I actually thought for the people around me. Is Mum worried about me? Is Lindsay alright? Is the kid doing fine? A ghost of a smile flitted across my lips, I knew I was forgiven.

“Why? Samuel Kinston, what a surprise! What are you doing here in church? Not up to some dirty trick of yours, I hope. So, what were you doing?” Pastor Clement asked with a hint of sarcasm in his deep voice. He had a frown between his white eyebrows and suspicion was etched on every inch of his wrinkly face. I could not blame him when ‘trouble’ was my middle name. I was always up to mischief.

“Confessing, I thought –”

“Oh I see, confessing! Interesting! So, what did you confess?”

It was my turn to frown. If Pastor Clement was not in the room with me, who was? Pastor Clement was the only priest in town. I looked back at the grimly dark room and then turn back. My eyes immediately fell on the huge cross hanging on the wall – the one which had Jesus on it. “Oh God, thank you,” I whispered.

“Well, Samuel?”

I smiled and hugged Pastor Clement. He was stunned by my reaction and took about two seconds to return the hug. “Thank you, Father. Thank you so much,” I said, fully meaning every word. There I was, a man free from his sins, running down the street to keep to my promise. I promised Him that I would change and that I would see that kid. The kid whom I hit down with my car two days ago when I was drunk…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The monotonous beeping in hospitals tends to freak me out. It always reminded me of death. I would watch the green line shoot up and down in the screen, somewhat hypnotized by it. Yet, it represented life – that the heart was still beating. I sat beside the fragile body of the boy and watched him breathe. His name was Andrew Danes and was only six this year.

A nurse came in and gave me a strange look in her eye. “Are you related?” She questioned and wrote something on her file. I shook my head and mouthed a ‘no’. The nurse’s eyes lingered on me before she tore her gaze away and checked the bag of liquid hanging by the bed. I knew she disapproved the way I dressed – blue highlights, multiple piercing, dark makeup, black clothes and the tattoos.

“How is he?”

She sighed, “He’s alright. Andrew is a strong boy, he’ll live.”

“But will he be normal? Like…will he walk again?”

“We’re not sure about that though. His bones were shattered from the crash. Being alive is already a blessing,” she stated. She looked at me and continued, “A pity. Andrew was a very sweet boy and he loves sports so much. And because of something he did not do, he has to pay for it. His life is practically destroyed by this accident.” I could not bear to look at the nurse straight in the eye as I was filled with remorse and was ashamed of myself. She exited from the room and left me alone with Andrew.

“Andrew, I’m sorry. I know I was wrong and I want to make it up to you. I don’t mind giving you my legs, man. I just…I just hope you’d be alright,” I told the sleeping boy and held his small hand in mine. Feeling tired, I closed my eyes for a minute or two.

“I know you,” a weak voice woke me up. Immediately, I raised my head up to look at him. “I saw you in my dreams. You’ll take care of me, won’t you? He told me.”

I chuckled lightly and squeezed his hand, “Yep, big guy, Brother Samuel will take care of you. I promise.” The toothy grin Andrew returned me was probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. What I was searching for was not forgiveness from God, from Andrew or anyone else, but from myself. For me to know that deep inside me there is a boy willing to do good. And I did…

The End

  
  

   Collections on 27th June 2005: (left to right) Burberry Prorsum, Costume National, Dolce & Gabbana, Jil Sander and Versace.

  

   Collections on 28th June 2005: Alexander McQueen, Neil Barrett and Prada.

  
  
   Collections on 29th June 2005: Alessandro Dell'Acqua, Dsquared, Gucci and Missoni.

  

   Collections on 30th June 2005: Calvin Klein Collection, Emporio Armani, Etro and Valentino.

  

   Collections on 1st July 2005: D&G, Giorgio Armani, Miu Miu and Roberto Cavalli.

Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted…One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti
He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won’t come out
He’s chokin, how everybody’s jokin now
The clock’s run out, time’s up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He’s so mad, but he won’t give up that easy
Is he? No
He won’t have it , he knows his whole back city’s ropes
It don’t matter, he’s dope
He knows that, but he’s broke
He’s so stacked that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that’s when it’s
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rap shit
He better go capture this moment and hope it don’t pass him

Chorus X2

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The soul’s escaping, through this hole that it’s gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is borin, but superstardom’s close to post mortar
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows its all over, these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he’s know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He’s grown farther from home, he’s no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water
These ho's don’t want him no mo, he’s cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it’s old potna, but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

Chorus X2

No more games, I’ma change what you call rage
Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody’s payin the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can’t get by with my 9 to 5
And I can’t provide the right type of life for my family
Cuz man, these goddam food stamps don’t buy diapers
And it’s no movie, there’s no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it’s getting even harder
Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus
Teeter totter, caught up between bein a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama’s screamin on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another day of monotomy
Has gotten me to the point, I’m like a snail
I’ve got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure’s not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer has got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem’s lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

Chorus X2

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

   - by Eminem